Humour is my Virtue, but so is hatrid.

"Humour is the tendency to provoke laughter and provide amusement."

Why, is it that so many people are afflicted with poor or non-existant senses of humour? Like robots, these people attempt and succeed in draining the fun and laughter from whatever they encounter. Furthermore, those without these senses of humour are so often dumber than sacks of rocks and have personalities to boot.

As of late, I've had the misfortune of encountering some of these poor, generally horrid little creatures across mediums such as Facebook.

A quick glance over her less-than-dashing looks and first thoughts go to my post on Wiccans below. Perhaps its the Tegan & Sara haircut, the awkward smile, the bad eyeliner or, most likely, the issue of the 72 piercings spread across her face. But moving on;

We come to the awful sense of humour this post is based on. She came in and decided to announce that, get this, a joke; a chuckleworthy, purposefully blunt, clearly fake, poorly grammaticized, Copy-and-Pasted internet joke on a facebook status was "rude". I'd hate to hear what her reaction will be to this.

As you all know me as someone who despises those without appreciation for good-natured common sense, I flatly stated that no, it isn't "rude".

Naturally, as an awful attempt to show me that jokes can be rude, she unsurprisingly and somehow decided to make jokes about me having a tiny penis. To a normal person, Sense of Humour therefore Tiny Penis is an odd conclusion to draw. (Poor Bill Cosby)

Why is it that so many people who can't insult or joke correctly make bad jokes and comebacks. Why don't they understand that making bad jokes does my work for me. I need not insult them when they insult themselves. So I being the wonderfully polite person that I am hardly bothered to make any sort of worthless attack back against her, unintentionally leaving her in the awkward position of having to come up with something herself. Unfortunately for her & Against my hopes she would see how fruitless it is to bother insulting someone like myself with no moral bounds whatsoever, the girl says something negatively funny and incredibly creepy "you mean last night? Yes! I was sucking her clit and got her ring stuck in my tongue ring :p". I don't even know what the fuck they were talking about? Who is this "She" with the clit and why is there a need to explain their friday night sex to me?
For someone who thought a joke about someone's unhygienic teeth was rude, she's certainly one of the more morally-impugnant creatures lurking the internet. Even moreso than myself. And she isn't a 40 year old alcoholic murderer like me.


By the way, If 7 inches was small, she'd be correct.

Fucking Wiccans + Other Fringe Groups

Lately I've had the misfortune of running into people who dabble in fringe beliefs. And I think they're fucking idiots. Not that I dislike people necessarily because of what they believe, just I think it's all just wasted time and hipstery-ness. Be it paganism, Apocalypse 2012, The Marijuana Church of Idaho, Mormons, and lately, Wiccans have crossed my path.

Would it be considered bad that I don't like people who are in a 20th Century cult who "practice" witchcraft, believe in talking trees, don't shower and do things so ludicrisly fabricated such as perform "Magic Spells" and other bullshit? 

Not to mention the bad makeup, the clearly unwashed, tangled, unkempt hair, and general disregard for normal hygiene.


God damnit. I wish people like this just grew the fuck up and joined normal civilization for once.

MW3 is garbage?

Of course its fucking garbage. Everyday, my Youtube and my ears are filled with how good Infinity Wards' next cock up Modern Warfare 3 is, by people who have apparently been struck blind, deaf and dumb to the over-exaggerated hype. Why is it pür garbage? Well It was developed by a direlict company which had it's socks sued off 2 years ago by Activision, had no beta testing, was cash strapped and rushed out the door. It didn't even upgrade it's audio drives like Treyarch did for last years rendition of Call of Duty, Black ops, so it's the year 2011 and Infinity Ward's servers are still using the same VoIP software from 1995 during Dial-up Quake years. Not to mention the lag so bad I could download a video faster in the mormon safes in Utah. I'm sure they're using the old burned out servers from Call of Duty 4.

Trying to play that piece of shit is another story. Sweet jesus what a God damn piss off.


To summarize;There aren't enough cigarettes to justify this god damn piece of fucking horseshit.